For Blue Skies
by Lynne25
Summary: Neal reflects on Kates death and his love for her that has no ending.Songfic For Blue Skies by Stray's Don't Sleep.


For Blue Skies

White Collar

Neal and Kate one shot

As the sun is setting in the city sky as my 1955 red mustang convertible pulls in through the iorn cemetary gates.I head towards the newer part of the cemetary and I step out of the car ,I take off my fedora hat and I take in an unstedy breath as I take my first step forward towards I reach her the lump builds up in my throught , it takes every ounce of strenghth I have to force back the tears that threaten to fall.I kneal down and read the engravement on the headstone.

_Kate Monroe_

_1985- 2010_

_A beloved daughter,friend& soulmate._

_Love has no ending._

**Its been a long year  
>Since we last spoke <strong>

"Hey ,"I say my voice coming out shakey," I'm sorry it took me so long.I know I shouldn't have waited a year before coming to see you, but you have to understand how much it hurts just thinking about you being gone."

**Hows your halo?  
><strong>

I have never really been a religious I know if there is a heaven out there Kates in it because she has always been an angel and she deserves to be in heaven after all I put her through.**  
><strong>

**Just between you and I .You and me and the satellites  
>I never believed you .I only wanted to.<strong>

The day before she was murdered I recieved a letter from her saying that she couldn't wait to see me, to finally get our chance to live a normal life something inside of me was telling that a happy ending for me and Kate would never come.

**Before all of this  
>What did I miss <strong>

**Do you ever get homesick?  
><strong>

I've been thinking about all the time that we were apart wondering if she was okay, if she missed me if she was just as homesick as I was because with Kate I was home.

**I cant get used to it  
>I cant get used to it<br>I'll never get used to it  
>I'll never get used to it<strong>

I will never get used to the fact ,that I will never be able to see her face light up as she smiles .I will never be able to hear her voice as she laughs or say that she loves me.

**I'm under that night  
>I'm under those same stars<br>Were in a red car  
>You asleep at my side<br>Going in and out of the headlights  
><strong>

I remeber the first time I told her I loved her,the first time I reliezed that she was my went out for an evening drive in my car we drove out of the city to this feild we found on a day that I turned the wrong way and we ended up in this little town an hour outside the city.I remeber that after we found that spot we went there alot just to look at the that night Kate fell asleep curled up into my side.

God she looked so beautifull that night,I couldn't help but leaning down to kiss my lips touched her cheek I knew she had woken up because I could feel her smile.I pulled back to look at her which was when she said,"I love you."At first the world seemed to stand still,but then all the emotions I had just rushed foward,excitment,suprise but the strongest emotion was love and I told her that I loved her too. "I knew right then I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you" I said aloud staring up at the sky.

**Could I have saved you?  
>Would that've betrayed you?<br>**

I keep going over and over the day that she died, trying to figure out any way I could have saved replaying that day in my mind won't change anything because she is gone.

**I wanna burn this film  
>You alone with those pills<br>What you couldn't do I will  
><strong>

I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a photo of Kate and I that I kept in my pocket scince the day I got out of jail.I looked at the photo and remebered the day I took it because that was the day that I told Kate that I loved photo was what reminded me every day what I was living reminded me that I was living for her.I set the photo on the headstone because no matter how much I will always love her,I knew I needed to move on with my life.

**I forgive you  
>I'll forgive you<br>I'll forgive you  
>I forgive you<strong>

I knew I needed to forgive Kate.I needed to forgive her for running away from me.I needed to forgive her for not giving me the chance to see her one last time.I needed to forgive her for not giving us the forever that we talked about because I know that none of those things are her fault.

**For blue, blue skies  
>For blue, blue skies<br>For blue, blue skies  
>For blue, blue skies<br>I'll forgive you**

Though I forgive her but ,their is one person I will never be able to forgive and that person is me because I know if she had never had met me she would still be alive and I will forever carry that guilt.  
><strong><br>**


End file.
